Looking out into the black, I finally realize that feeling of lonliness.

That feeling of death.

That blackness, tepid faint of whiteness

Perpetual, never ending nothingness

This is what I’m going to see one day.

and that day will be the day

when the hours will begin and

cease to end. Heaven willing,

this is what I’m going to surround myself with

like a blanket shrouding my soul

a warm blanket beneath the body

gearing me to be ready

until that day comes.


Toxix Relations**t


I know who you are

You treat me like i’m nothing

i continue to say nothing

I am powerless within my own self.

Because i fear you


the one true god

who controls our dumb thoughts

Churns our simple shoulders

controlling our feeble minds

The god who brings life

In pen


in paper

The god you claim doesn’t exist


if i were to be


You would feel




A punching bag

who punches back

with our talk

being the last talk

Before you hang the rope on

your neck


I fear for you

I care about you

So i continue to say nothing

To be nothing

To continue your Friendship

against me

Naturally Curious

I used to be a scientist
Curious about the world
Learning new things
taking them apart
Only to bring them back together again
one day, my 
Catholic father
starts Yelling at me
Screaming at me
Eviscerating me
Asking me
pens, toys, foam rubber swords
all lambs to the slaughter
His thundering voice
my brother’s seething eyes
my mother’s silence
All have killed
my love for science
Now, i am embarking on a new path
The college years are near me
and my father wonders
why I’d prefer to write